Do you have a child who can’t seem to figure out independent play yet? Some people might even confuse this with a child being “clingy”. Do you wish you could teach your child to play by themselves? Then read on…
Some kids are naturally at it while others need to learn how to do it.
My son was someone who had to learn – and still has to be reinforced that independent play is safe- meaning he gets anxious sometimes if I’m not around, and I have to reinforce that play is his safe space
After reading this article, you will learn how to:
- Get started with independent play.
- Create independent play spaces at home
- The proximity method
- Creative, independent play activities
- Establishing daily independent play routines
.
create independent play spaces at home
Independent play spaces are a crucial part of your child’s development. They
offer a variety of play materials that foster imagination and creativity and
have floor space to explore them. By providing such spaces, you’re making a
significant contribution to your child’s growth.
This means you need plenty of open-ended toys in your independent space. Open-ended toys are toys that your child can manipulate to build, like blocks to make up a city, paper, and scissors to create signs, and other materials to create little worlds like making a city, the zoo, or an imaginary lake with boats, or people they can manipulate in their stories.
When I sit down to play with him, I usually like to play with open-ended toys. I love making patterns with blocks, towers with magnates, or little dog parks with Legos.
Open-ended toys are not toys that usually only work if you put batteries in, they are not the obnoxious self-driving car with lights they sell at the mall or any other toys that can only do one thing – and are not the child who is in charge of what the toy does.
This doesn’t mean you can’t have those obnoxious toys, it just means that the area where you will foster independent play needs to have more open-ended toys to encourage creativity and independent play.
Action Item: Evaluate the toys you have available in the independent play space
The Proximity Method
Sometimes, I need to be in the kitchen making dinner or in my office paying some bills on the computer. So, what do you do when you need to do these things and your child cannot be separated from you for more than a minute? You use the proximity method.
There are shelves around my house (or a box or container) that I have designated to place my “busy bins”. These busy bins are games and toys that are only available at those designated places. Toys that can be used without my supervision, so nothing messy, choking hazard, or that they can draw my furniture if I turn around to mix the soup and I’m not in constant supervision of them.
My proximity locations:
- I have one designated busy bin on a shelf in my kitchen (near my kitchen sink); see this Instagram video.
- I have another on a shelf (easily accessible to my son) in my office.
- And I have a desk in his play area so I can work, and he can use any toy he wants
Sometimes, I bring my computer to his play area, and he can work on his play
Independent play is a muscle
At times, independent play becomes his sole focus, whether it’s with me
nearby or in his play space. On other days, he can happily engage in
independent play for hours.
If you are starting to experiment with independent play, try
the proximity method. Add some toys to the area that you need to be at (that
only get accessed when you are there)
Creative independent play activities Using Busy Bins
Busy bins are those activities that I put inside each shelf. Sometimes I arrange them on a shelf sometimes I arrange them in a box or tray.
Only have a few toys available on these shelves, as they can get overwhelmed
with the choices and not play at all. Instead, rotate these toys as you see
fit. Remove those toys you presented, but they didn’t care much about, and
rotate them with something new so they always have a “fresh look”.
Whether it’s on the floor or at a nearby kid’s table, the play spaces you
create are versatile and adaptable. For instance, a table near the kitchen can
serve as a dining room, activity table, and independent play space, showing
your resourcefulness in managing your child’s playtime.
I like to use a lot of STEAM activities and games that work on cognitive skills. This YouTube video shows what busy bins are and some ideas that I have used throughout the years.
establishing a daily independent play routine
Independent play is a muscle that needs to be exercised. Kids feel safe when they are near you, so we use the proximity method. They can play on their own, but they can also be near us.
As they get more comfortable, you can start experimenting with expanding that space between you and them so that they still feel safe even if you are in the room next door.
Remember, independent play is important for their development but, it does not replace “caregiving or babysitting services.”
Next Steps: Go Play!
If you want more support on fostering independent play, check out our course: Go Play!
WHAT YOU WILL LEARN IN THE GO PLAY! COURSE:
- Learn the benefits of independent play and why it matters.
- Learn the power of observation to customize your child’s play area
- Learn the number one mistake parents make that hurts independent play
- Learn how to set up pay areas that contribute to problem-solving skills, foster imagination, and encourage emotional resilience.
- Learn what are the best toys to increase independent play
- Learn how to establish boundaries to balance parent-child bonding play and independent play for creativity and exploration.
- Bonus: Get our Independent play toy recommendation PDF guide!