A letter to the unappreciated Step-Mom on Mother’s Day

Am I talking an illegal subject here? How dare I suggest a step-mom be acknowledge on mother’s day when the reason to celebrate this day is for the “real” mother. Or is it?

I will talk, and talk loudly, and say things I wouldn’t dare to say before, but should be said. A Step-Mom should be acknowledged on Mother’s Day.  

There I said it.

As Step-Mother’s we co-parent along with our significant other at least part-time throughout the year. We help with homework, We cook family dinners, We go to baseball games. We put band-aids on scratches and even do pillow talks. We are part of the family. A Step-Mom is part of Mother’s Day.

The fact that most step-moms are not acknowledged on Mother’s Day pains me.

It pains me because although my husband and step-son have always made sure I was celebrated in my own way; with my direct family I was non-existent to this holiday.

Manny was not born yet, so I didn’t have a biological son, but I did have a son. A step-son.

It would hurt me that they wouldn’t acknowledge me or say anything.  They wouldn’t acknowledge the parenting I did all year, and yet, would say things like “maybe next year”.

The fact that I was struggling with infertility at the time, those three words were even more hurtful.

step-mom on mother’s day

I understand most kids will spend their day at their biological mother’s home and that card-companies has yet to release a ton of Happy Mother’s Day to a Step Mother cards.

At the store, there’s a section of cards for mom, for grandma and for aunts. I didn’t see one for step-moms.

I understand kids don’t want their biological mother to feel hurt by this acknowledge to a step-mother. and I get it.

I imagine it could feel threatening.

It could hurt to be reminded that your child is shared with someone else.

But let me remind you “real mother” that your kids will not love you less because there’s a step-mother around.

Your kids will not run out of love. Your kids are safe and loved. Doesn’t that give you peace of mind? That your kids are in a home that is surrounded by love? Think of the opposite home and then be thankful.

Step-Mom on Mother's day quotes: Your Kids will not love you less because they have a step-mom.

I understand that as a step-mother, we shouldn’t complain, we need to eat those feelings and we usually just take whatever crumbs we get without saying a word.

But I refuse to take the crumbs and stay quiet!

Today I speak to the old me, who would hurt in silent as everyone around her was being celebrated for.

I speak to you that do the daily motherly tasks – even if it’s for only a few days a week or even every-other-weekend.

I speak to you, a step-mom that is reading this with a little void, a sadness inside that other’s might not know.

I acknowledge you.

Because if you are reading this, it means you care.

I celebrate you and I say Happy Mother’s Day.

It takes a village to raise children, and those around you are lucky to have you.

Parenting Quote: It takes a village to raise children

Your partner is lucky to have you; a motherly nurturer to support the raising of his children. Their biological mother or “real” mother (as some call it – and I hate that term )is lucky to have you. Because you can teach those kids things that not mom or dad can, just like a cool aunt!

Happy Mother’s Day to a Step-Mom on Mother’s day

Because I can’t hug you and give you flowers, I will do it virtually. For you on Mother’s Day, I give you virtual flowers and a card.

Because you deserve to be acknowledge, because what you do matters and because the world is better when there is more love.

Download your free card here and Feel free to share it with other step-mothers.

Free Printable Step-Mother’s Day Card

Click here to download: Free Printable Step-Mother’s Day Card

Share this Step-mom Mother’s Day Free Printable

Share it online, Pin it! In the hopes that those step-kids looking for ideas on how to acknowledge their step-mother can find a way to do so.

Share it so that stores can start carrying more inclusive cards.

Share it, because a day like today, love should be acknowledge – regardless of the label.

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18 thoughts on “A letter to the unappreciated Step-Mom on Mother’s Day”

  1. Yes to celebrating a step-mom on Mother’s Day! I try to not make a really big deal out of Mother’s Day and be sensitive to women like my oldest daughter who has been trying to get pregnant for years.

  2. That is a shame that step-mom’s feel under-appreciated. I know that some of my friends who grew up with step-parents and it really depends on the relationship. I know they appreciated them just as much as their own but differently.

  3. This is too sweet! The step-moms around the world definitely deserve some appreciation on days like these!

  4. Ahhhhhh for many years I was guilty for forgetting about my step mom on mother’s Day! It wasn’t until I was older that it hit me that I definitely needed to send that happy mother’s day text

  5. While I am not in a position to say I understand personally, I can understand that you want to be acknowledged. And it’s only fair that you are as you are doing the parenting as well. I’m glad you are speaking up for step-parents everywhere!

  6. Actually, I think if you raise a child even if you did not bring that child to the world. My husband always celebrates his aunt on mother’s day as she is the one who raised them.

  7. I feel as if step-moms should be celebrated by all as well… I especially, hope more cards are created.

  8. There a lot of amazing stepmoms out there and they should be celebrated! Our favorite grandmother (we had 3) was technically our stepgrandmother. Although we knew that, in our hearts, she was our “real” grandmother. We always called her Grandmother and sent her Mother’s Day cards, without differentiating her as a step-grandmother.

  9. I totally agree with you. If you are a step-mom, you are a parental figure in your child’s life. My other half has taken on this role with my eldest, and she acknowledges his place in her life. I also make a point to let the women who were like aunts to me and call them to let them know how much I appreciate them taking me in as family.

  10. It’s not easy being a mom, and can’t even imagine how hard it would be to be a step-mom as well. I’m so proud of how you’ve been able to manage the two roles.

  11. I agree that step parents should be acknowledged! After dealing with infertility myself, I can understand the pain you went through. We always make sure to give a card to my husband’s step-dad for father’s day.

  12. I believe good step-mothers should be appreciated and brought into the equation on Mother’s Day. My sister-in-law is doing a great job and trying to co-parent the best she can. My step-mother always told my dad he had to do everything when it came to me and my brother because we were “his kids” so I had a completely different experience when I was growing up.

  13. I totally agree stepparents should be acknowledged on Mother’s Day as well because they put in just as much work.

  14. There are lots of loving step mom that should be celebrated! Yes, we should appreciate them and their love for the kids.

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