When my son fell over the bed because I was on Instagram, I beat myself up for DAYS!! I couldn’t forgive myself. I handed me the worse mom award. But, after talking to a friend, she made me realize, things happen. It doesn’t make me a bad mom and I needed to be kind to myself.
I also learned this wasn’t going to be the first time I would beat myself up for things I did or didn’t do. I needed to learn to give myself some grace.
What Does it Mean to “Give Yourself Grace”? It means that you need to cut yourself some slack.
We don’t have a boss to tell us we are doing a good job, or an end-of-the-year review to grade how awesome mom we are! How we can go on non-stop 20hr work shifts on dry-shampoo and tons of coffee to keep everyone happy, healthy, and entertained!
Give yourself a pat in the back because, woman! you are doing the best you can! so stop beating yourself up!
We are our worse critic
As mothers, we all know that taking care of a small human can be extremely difficult.
I always, knew this job was going to be hard. I had no idea it was going to be THIS hard. The days are super long, the to-do list is never-ending and the coffee is not enough.
I have had very high stressful jobs, I managed million-dollar budgets for companies, had to work on weekends and long nights, yet, this… taking care of this tiny human has been quite the challenge. (Both physically and mentally)
The mental load, the having to be aware of what’s going on at all times, and the lack of sleep, is all too much sometimes. Add on top of that my insecurity if I’m even doing it right.
I am in charge of a tiny human. That’s a lot of responsibility.
From requiring you to continuously be aware of where your child is, to have the pressure of being the best mom out there while always being worried about something happening to your child, it can be overwhelming.
Not only this, but the stress that we mothers put onto each other by comparing ourselves to one another is negative and cannot bring anything positive. In any case, I find that it is the prime time to give yourself grace as a mother.
In other words, nobody’s perfect, we all have our faults and we all struggle one way or another. So, this article will be about just this: giving yourself grace.
When you bring a child to the world, you can often feel quite overwhelmed by the number of things that you need to be careful about, the things that you need to keep in mind, and the things you cannot forget.
This amount of stress is not only toxic for your overall health, it can lead to serious burnout. So, giving yourself grace is all about learning to let go, letting yourself make mistakes, and not feeling infinitely guilty about it.
Giving Yourself Grace Doesn’t Have to Be Complicated!
When I say that you should be giving yourself grace, I am not saying that you should book yourself a trip away to Greece for a few weeks (but a few of us daydream about this just as an escape to this difficult journey, a little break, a vacation… but honestly, we know we would never do it)
Instead, giving yourself grace means that you should be paying close attention to the feelings of guilt that are overcoming you and that you should allow yourself to make mistakes. Give yourself some time to take care of yourself here and there;
Take a hot bath while dad watches over your little one, and take that time to appreciate all of the efforts that you are putting into this child. Of course, it may not be the perfect job, but you are doing your best and that is the most important thing!
We ALL Go Through It
Being kind to oneself is essential for mental well-being. When you are kind to your inner being, you can begin to feel more at peace with yourself and the world around you.
Kindness and acceptance are what everyone needs in order to live happy and successful lives, and that does not exclude mothers! You may feel like you are the only person going through this ordeal, but the reality is that all mothers will face one problem or another at one point in their motherhood.
Your baby won’t latch on while breastfeeding? This is something thousands of women have dealt with in the past. Or perhaps you are struggling with postpartum depression and feel as though you are not being present enough for your child?
This is normal and extremely common. Give yourself grace– you are trying your best!
It Starts with Self-Respect
When you give yourself the respect you deserve, it shows through on other aspects of your life. For example, how you look at yourself is important. If you look at yourself negatively, it will reflect in how you treat other people, including your partner and even your child, in certain situations.
Indeed, you may feel like you are hiding it well, but if you feel like you are not being the best mom you could be, this will show and it may make matters worse. Instead, learn to love your quirks and mistakes– they are what makes you YOU!
Self-respect means giving yourself respect as you are, not giving yourself respect only when you succeed, or when you feel like you have improved. You must be happy with who you are, who you have become, and what you have done, and you must respect yourself regardless of which stage you are at.
The last thing you want is to live life to the fullest and still not be happy. This is not the way to live, especially when you’ve been gifted motherhood!
Show Kindness, Even When You Things go the Wrong Way
I know it might be hard to accept it when we make mistakes. However, it’s a part of giving yourself grace.
If you cannot accept that you made a mistake and end up feeling bad about it or about yourself for hours after this, you are simply wasting good and fun times with your little one. Instead, learn to appreciate that you are learning from this mistake.
So I did, and next time I needed a break, I put a pillow to prevent him rolling over.
It’s important to give yourself grace if…
- If you thought you wanted to breastfeed exclusive and then ended resorting to using formula (and you swore before having a baby that formula was not a part of your baby plan). Things don’t go according to plan in most cases, and that’s okay. With technology, the formula is doing an amazing job of providing your child with all theneeded nutrients. The child is fed. That is what is important.
Give yourself grace.
- If you haven’t been able to sleep train your baby or him to fall asleep, and you are struggling to adjust to this new sleepless life. This will adjust itself with time, no need to panic. Things will be okay!
Give yourself grace.
- If you feel like you aren’t losing the baby weight fast enough. Your weight is nothing in comparison to what you have just done: you brought a child to life. Your weight is nothing in comparison! Don’t forget your inner value– it is not determined by the number on the scale.
Give yourself grace.
- If you feel you are not getting enough alone time with your hubby. Having a child is something that tests any couple. It is difficult to adjust to a new kind of lifestyle that involves taking care of another human being that tends to have very challenging habits for eating and sleeping.
Give yourself grace.
- If you feel you are not doing enough educational activities at home with your child. Entertaining a small child is tough, they are full of energy and sometimes they even skip nap time! give yourself grace, go for a nature walk, and choose easy projects you feel comfortable doing. Kids learn by doing, even if that means helping you in the kitchen, folding laundry, or even painting with water.
Give yourself grace.
Give yourself a break and give yourself grace– these are all things that are normal, which take time to adjust, but which are oh so worth it in the end.
So, next time you are giving yourself a hard time, remember one thing.
Give yourself grace
Be part of the community, join our mom tribe and subscribe. I mostly talk about ways to entertain our kids, activities and ideas to teach Pre-K readiness concepts. We are in this together. One day, we will be sipping mimosas with our friends at brunch while the kids are in school. Until then, you got this!